


Getting All the Sighs and Moans Just Right

by mansikka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, POV Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 07:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13899138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Cas is leaving, again, and Dean just has to stop him.





	Getting All the Sighs and Moans Just Right

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unraveledwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unraveledwords/gifts).



> Hello! This is a (rushed) birthday gift for the lovely unraveledwords/woahthisguy... Happy Birthday <3 <3 <3
> 
> Based on the prompt: 'Cas getting his brains sucked out through his dick.'
> 
> And, why, yes; the title _is_ a play on some Fall Out Boy lyrics... enjoy!
> 
> (special thanks go to the speed reading queen that is Desirae for beta-ing this!)
> 
> x

"You were just gonna walk out of here without saying a damn word? _Again_?"

Dean's face is flushed with anger. Cas is used to being on the receiving end of Dean's anger, and if he's honest, even more used to being on it for things like _this_ , but this feels different. There is an ever-present tension stretched between them, and for the first time in all these _moments_ where fears are unspoken and words are unsaid, Cas is beginning to wonder if it's about to give.

"I assumed you'd realize I was gone," Cas replies, and it's deliberate. He's learned all sorts of nuances and turns of phrases from Dean, so if Dean wants to be thinking one thing about him and saying entirely another out loud, then, well. What choice does he leave him but to push some buttons?

"Yeah, when you were hell knows where, and I didn't know how to get to you."

"Perhaps there would be no need for you to _get to me_ at all," Cas retorts, and if his tone is goading then so be it. If Dean is going to toy with him repeatedly, then he will be as cutting with his replies as he wants.

Something shifts in Dean's expression, and Cas knows he's teetering on the edge of something. The choice is now which way he wants to fall.

"Cas—"

"You never ask me to stay, and yet you are so furious any time I try to leave. Why is that, Dean? What do you _want_?"

Cas is surprised at even himself. The well of fury rising up in his gut billows out and unfurls through his chest, and all the years of being unsure what those looks are meant to mean when they don't match what Dean is thinking come back to haunt him at once. He's not doing this anymore.

"You continue to _toy_ with me, Dean. You continue to look, and take, and want, yet refuse to do anything about it."

Dean looks alarmed. His eyes are darting out around them, and that Cas knows he's checking Sam and Jack are out of earshot leaves him incensed. He's had enough, and wanting to push Dean to truthfully answering has lost its appeal in a matter of seconds. Cas glares back at him and spins on his heel, ready to be anywhere but in this bunker.

"Cas _wait_."

There is no one, not one human in Cas' history, who can lay a hand on him and bring him to a stop. But Dean, _Dean_ always finds a way to do it. It makes Cas even more furious, but mostly at himself.

"I am not—"

"Cas _please_."

Cas narrows his eyes at the grip squeezing around his forearm, turns a little in suspicion at the unfamiliar word. Looks up to see the most torn expression on Dean's face that he has ever had to witness. That Dean can make him feel _guilty_ for being hurt by his actions is infuriating, but already Cas' anger is dropping away like it hadn't even flared up.

"Dean—"

" _Please_ ," Dean repeats, and Cas watches in disbelief as that hand gripping his forearm trails down his arm, slotting fingers through his own. He goes when tugged, finding himself led through the hallways of the bunker and to Dean's own room. Cas braces for an argument as Dean closes the door, and hopes he finds better words.

"Dean—"

Dean's door is cold. His back is pressed hard against it, and the force with which Dean has crowded him there means his head has struck it with a soft thud.

"Dammit," Dean says, eyes wide in alarm and immediately pulling Cas away again, his hand up to feel the back of his head. "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I heard—"

"I'm not _breakable_ , Dean," Cas replies testily. He has no idea what Dean's intentions are, but he is tired of being thought of as _weak_ or _fragile_ by him when he is anything but.

"Still," Dean says, and now Cas really is confused. Dean's fingers are gentle, running over that slightly sore spot on the back of his head. "You okay, Cas?"

"I'm fine."

"Well, good," Dean answers, swallowing thickly. His heart is pounding frantically, his pupils dilating, and he's repeatedly licking his lips.

"Dean—"

"I don't mean to keep doing this with you. _To_ you," Dean says then, softer than Cas is sure he's ever heard him. Dean shifts his stance a little, and there's a tension in his body before he's breathing out hard and letting himself _lean_ on Cas.

"...Dean?"

"I don't know how to do this, Cas," Dean whispers, and to Cas' horror, there are tears in his eyes. "I don't know how to let myself have you like this— _want_ you like this. But I do."

"Because I am like this?" Cas suggests with a vague wave of his arm, though he can't move it too far for the way Dean has him pinned.

"Like what?"

Cas tuts because he doesn't think he needs to spell it out for him. "Jimmy was male—"

"And currently, _you're_ male," Dean nods. "In fact, you're all male now. You're a _guy_. This is all you in here, right?"

The caress of Dean's hands over his sides is surprising to Cas. He's thought long and hard about what it would feel like to have Dean touching him in any way, and now he's doing it, it's going to be torture when he decides to stop. To pull away and pretend he didn't mean it in the first place. Cas dreads it happening already, and his hands are still on him.

"Yes."

"I got zero problem with you being a _guy_ , Cas," Dean replies, and that look in his eyes is full of need.

"Dean—"

"I don't mean to keep doing this to you, Cas," Dean says, even softer, dropping his head forward and hesitating, then dropping his forehead onto Cas' shoulder. Cas jolts for it, but doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around him. Feels grounded for the warmth pressed against him, chides himself for the foolish notion that Dean feels like _home_.

Dean sighs out in a blast and shuffles a little closer still, and it's like he _wants_ to feel Cas' arms around him. Cas argues with himself about listening to Dean's thoughts, but for once they are exactly in line with what he's actually doing, and it makes it hard not to.

"Dean—"

"I'm sorry, Cas," Dean says, nuzzling against his shoulder. Cas is startled but attempts not to show it, having wanted Dean's affection for so long but never quite convinced he'd ever have it. "I don't mean to… I don't know why I'm like this."

 _You do_ , Cas argues without saying it out loud, apportioning blame to John Winchester, hunting, and an entire world of self-doubt. Now is not the time for that, however. Because Dean is shuddering, and Cas thinks he needs to comfort him, even if he's not completely sure for what.

Dean's lips are hot on his neck. It's just above where his trenchcoat sits, and for a second Cas thinks it's a mistake. But then he feels it again, hot, deliberate mouthing up his neck, a shuddering breath that speaks of wanting to both take and to hold back, and Cas is lost for what any of it means.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers again, that mouthing continuing over his neck and along his jaw.

Cas is rigid, having no idea if he's expected to respond. But Dean then lifts his head up, and his eyes are full of such _want_ that it stirs a heat low in Cas' gut.

"Dean—"

Dean is kissing him. He's kissing him hard, and frantic, and desperate, molding his lips against his own like he means to devour him. Dean kisses him as though he's had years of practice doing just that, and it seems that all those _thoughts_ Dean's had of kissing him—amongst other things—over the years, are apparently paying off.

It's when Dean sucks on his lower lip that Cas realizes he's not doing much in the way of responding, sweeping his hands up over Dean's back to draw him closer, and finally kissing back. There are soft gasps blasting from each of them, then, the kiss becoming furious, and needy, and everything that Cas wants.

Dean's tongue is a brand against his own, his fingers tugging his head forward so he can slot them through his hair. The only word that falls from his mouth when he pulls back for a gasp of breath is, _Cas_. Cas swallows the groan from his lips when he slots his hands into Dean's back pockets and grinds against him.

Dean pulls away without warning, and Cas braces for words like _mistake_ , and _accident_ , and a string of excuses. But he's only pulling back enough to stare at him, raise a trembling hand to cup his face, and then diving in to kiss him once again.

Dean's hands flit nervously over the front of his shirt, pushing the jacket and trenchcoat away in the process with warm palms sweeping over him in exploration. A thumb dips between his shirt buttons to swirl over his skin and Cas feels Dean tremble for it. Cas sweeps his hands beneath Dean's shirt and swallows another gasp against his mouth.

"I need to—I need to do something," Dean says frantically, and Cas has no idea what he means.

"What?"

"Anything," he blasts out. Cas doesn't know what he's supposed to do, but doesn't really have room to ask, not with the way Dean is kissing him over and over, apparently not able to let up.

Cas' stomach ripples for the hesitant fingers pressing at his belt buckle, a groan falling from his lips at the hard thumb pressed along his length. He tries to call out to Dean that he doesn't need to do anything, but Dean's already worked open his button and pulled down his fly, and he's cupping him through his boxers and groaning for it.

"I need to… I need to get my hands on you," Dean blurts out sounding utterly broken. Cas doesn't do anything but lift away from the door as guided, widen his stance a little as Dean shoves down his pants and boxers to mid thigh.

" _Dean_ ," he calls out as a wide, warm hand wraps around his cock, already fairly hard from the way they've been rutting together, but now jolting for the swirl of thumb over his head, the solid pull from root to tip. The way Dean stares at him for a second then is sinking down.

Cas goes to call out his name again, but there's a lap over his head that leaves him whimpering, and he looks down to watch Dean grip firm around his base, licking repeatedly over his length. He looks up, nudges at Cas' shirt with his free hand, and Cas lifts it so he can more freely watch.

Dean keeps his eyes on him, with that same need that was there when he'd dragged him into this room. He grips tight around his shaft and laves his tongue over his head, teasing along Cas' slit. Cas' knees almost fail him, slipping a little against the door for the sight of what Dean's doing to him and the shoots of pleasure it's spiraling through his core. But then Dean is opening his mouth around him, engulfing Cas in this tight, wet heat that feels so incredible, Cas can only grunt as he watches him take him in.

Dean hums around him and it makes Cas shiver, his fingers bunching hard into his side, though still trying to hold up his shirt. Dean smiles around him, reaching up awkwardly to unbutton his shirt and shove it back behind him along with his jacket and trenchcoat, leaving the fabric knotted uncomfortably in Cas' lower back—not that he minds right now, of course. Now he can watch freely as Dean drags his lips over him repeatedly, pulling off one moment to lick over him then taking him back into his mouth the next. His hands are exploring over Cas' thighs, and stomach, and Cas doesn't think he can get enough of the heat of Dean's skin on his.

Dean closes his eyes, hums along his length again, pulls away to lap over his head, then is back to licking up his length. And once more he's taking Cas into his mouth, only this time as he stares up he gives a hard suck that leaves Cas keening, hands flying to the back of his head. Dean hums for his reaction, reaching up himself to keep Cas' hands in place. And then he's slotting his hands behind him and squeezing Cas' ass with a continued moan, encouraging him to fuck his mouth.

Cas is beside himself, the instinct to sink into that deep, warm heat making his hips jolt without any conscious thought. He pushes away from the door, hands steady on the back of Dean's head, groaning as he watches himself slide repeatedly into his mouth. Dean closes his eyes, tilts his head a little in offering, and for a few minutes Cas does nothing but let himself take. But then Dean is opening his eyes again with intent that makes them glint in the overhead light. He pulls off Cas and shoves him back to the door, lapping over him repeatedly, then once more sucking hard on his head.

Cas calls out for the heat of it, stuttering and gasping, eyes closed as he feels Dean tucking his clothes back behind him once again. And when Cas looks down this time, it's like Dean is waiting for him to watch. He places his hands wide on Cas' hips with a quick groan as he swirls his thumbs over the bones protruding there, then is lapping over his head once more, and taking him into his mouth.

Cas watches as Dean takes him in, his stomach fluttering at the depth of it, calling out once Dean's lips are against his skin around his base, and feels Dean breathing out through his nose against him. Cas reaches out with trembling fingers to stroke over Dean's top lip to feel the way he's stretching them open, then drops his hand again, just in time for Dean to swallow around him.

Cas cries out hard for the tight squeeze along his length that feels like nothing he's ever expected to be feeling, the watering of Dean's eyes telling him how far he's jutting down his throat. Cas wants to tell him to pull back, that he doesn't have to do this, but then Dean _winks_ at him, moaning hard one moment then swallowing around him again the next.

Cas groans out hard, head thudding against the door, looking back down when Dean taps at his side, instructing him to watch. Cas does just that; the slow, deliberate drag of Dean's lips along his length with a kitten lick for his head when he's out of him, only for a kiss to be pressed against his tip and Dean to be swallowing him down again.

Dean is relentless, and Cas knows he's trying to put all his thoughts into actions, wants to tell him to stop and for them to for once force each other to _talk_. But Dean's mouth is so _good_ on him, and around him, and the heated pleasure it's building in his core means Cas can't do anything but watch.

It's the purposeful drag of lips along his length that's stabbing the hardest sparks of pleasure through him. That Dean would want him like this, would want to do this to him, is leaving Cas near euphoric. Dean's apparently enjoying it too, for the way he keeps dropping his hand to cup himself through his jeans.

" _Please_ ," Cas manages to stutter out, hoping that word can convey what he means since he's having difficulty forming anything else He groans as he watches Dean pull back for a second and free himself from his jeans, working himself hard as he ducks back in, continuing to kiss and suck along Cas' length.

Hearing Dean's own pleasure as he has his mouth on him has Cas aching with how much more he wants from Dean. He tries to concentrate on watching, flitting between fixing his eyes on Dean's hand on himself, and his mouth on his cock. That pleasured heat building in him is getting deeper, and harder, and he's about to crest when Dean pulls off him with a cry, head falling back with a deep groan as Cas watches him spill over his own hand.

Dean groans once more to himself, and Cas has the urge to drag his hand up for a _taste_. Then tells himself to be patient, because after this experience, there is no way he's not having this again.

Dean smiles up at him then, a playful kiss for his thigh, hip, and stomach, and then he's taking Cas into his mouth again. He's even more relentless than before, humming and sucking hard with encouraging squeezes around Cas' hips, taking him into his throat once more for another hard swallow that has Cas' knees buckling a little again.

Dean kneels a little closer, gripping his hips a little tighter, dragging his lips up the length of Cas' cock repeatedly, and sucking him hard enough to leave Cas sure he might fall at any moment. Dean's hands push him back against the door to keep him in place, moaning around his length as he continues to work him, that deep swallow all the way down his throat repeated with an approving hum for every stutter falling from Cas' mouth.

Cas tries to warn him when he starts to come but Dean won't budge, moaning around him as Cas spills into his mouth, only pulling back enough so Cas can see the last of his come on his lips and tongue. Dean laps him clean, never breaking eye contact, squeezing around Cas' trembling thighs with a glint in his eye saying that he's _pleased_ with himself.

Cas has to close his eyes. There is a soft wave of pleasure rippling through him that is making him feel boneless, and the gentle sweep of Dean's fingers over his sides is doing nothing but add to it. There are tender kisses up the spent length of him and then over his stomach and chest as Dean rises to his feet. More kisses pressed into his neck as he tucks himself there with a sigh.

"Maybe I should've asked—"

" _Dean_ ," Cas says with a soft burst of laughter, huffing as Dean leans against him, and once more they're in an awkward hug. Dean presses a harder kiss to his neck, looks down between them where they're pressed together and groans, pulling up his own shirt to look better.

"I'd be… I'd be happy to see more of this," Dean stutters out, looking for another moment before lifting his head. His smile is shy, uncertain, and Cas has to pull him closer. The feel of their bare chests together instantly makes his stomach knot all over again.

"I would like that."

"Cas," Dean says softly, leaning in for a soft kiss, "I don't mean to—"

"I understand—"

"But I don't _want_ you to understand," Dean replies, shaking his head and then laughing at himself. "I don't mean that. I mean, I don't want you to _have_ to understand. I wanna be… I wanna be better with you, Cas. But I keep… I don't know what I'm _doing_ here."

"Do you think I know any better?" Cas asks, bracing for a second before sweeping his hands first down over Dean's ass and his throat clicking for the way it makes Dean smile, and then spreading them wide over his back.

"I guess not."

"I suppose we should just… I have no idea," Cas says then with a self-deprecating laugh. Because he does want this, he _has_ wanted this—whatever _this_ is going to mean. He just doesn't know how to have it.

Dean smiles at that, and it's a real smile, the kind Cas thinks he's seen more of in the past few minutes than he's seen in the entire time he's known Dean. He likes it, likes to think that it's _him_ that's part of the reason for Dean smiling. Dean's kiss for him seems to confirm that; sweet, and unhurried, lips forever curled up in the corners, thumbs repeatedly sweeping in circles against his sides.

"We should probably get dressed," Dean says a little later with a reluctant sigh, once more tucking himself into Cas' neck.

"We should."

"Hell knows we've got some stuff to figure out here," Dean adds as he steps back, buttoning himself up. Cas nods, reaching to do the same, but Dean stops him, and does it himself.

"We do."

"That doesn't mean I'm just gonna… I'm not gonna let this go. Honest, I'm not."

"That would suggest you were under the assumption that I would _let_ you let this go," Cas replies, and it feels good to be teasing; especially for the delight it seems to put in Dean's eyes.

"Damn straight," Dean nods, ducking in for a final kiss, then clearing his throat, nodding towards the door.

"I would understand if, at least for now, you would prefer to keep this… private," Cas adds. It's a lie, and he hates the idea of them starting this _thing_ between them with a lie, but it's a small one. Knowing this has got to be a huge thing for Dean to have to share with anyone.

"Yeah, well. Not like I'm gonna start making out with you when we're on hunts or something," Dean retorts with a snort, "and it's not like I'm gonna send out a group chat or make some kinda announcement. But it doesn't mean I'm not gonna _tell_ people. Not like I've got anything to hide. _We've_ got anything to hide."

Cas wants to say something about how much that means to him but once again finds himself stuck for words. He succeeds only in reaching out to tangle their hands together to squeeze Dean's fingers.

"I need to eat," Dean announces then, though his lips turn up into a wicked smile as his gaze lingers over him. "I mean, I need to eat something _else_."

Cas can't help but smile in answer, even if he isn't sure what to respond with, but goes as directed when Dean gently tugs him away from the door. "Okay."

"Cas," Dean says then, turning quickly just as he's opened the door. Cas thinks he means to keep him in there, that for all he's just said, he wants to keep this new thing between them secret.

"Yes?"

Cas watches Dean sigh to himself, seem to fold in on himself as though looking for courage. Squeezes back when once more Dean takes his hand.

"Will you stay? Here? With me, tonight?"

"I—"

"I mean. Not just for a repeat performance of _that_. Although," Dean adds with a wink that is so typically Dean, Cas can't help smiling again, "not like I don't have a long, long list of things I wanna do to you now we finally got started."

"I assure you that my list is just as long."

A startled Dean, Cas decides, is quite the thing to look at, especially when he blinks the look away and still manages to look surprised. "That's… that's _good,_ Cas. I'm… yeah. That's good."

Cas watches the blush dancing over his cheeks and the flustered way he raises his hand to the back of his head. Decides that _this_ might be the thing to look at instead.

"I just meant… I want you here with me. If… you know. You don't need to be anywhere else."

"I don't," Cas replies, his stomach fluttering once again for the thought of spending the night with Dean. With no unspoken words between them, and no doubt about how _good_ certain things between them might be.

"So you'll stay?" Dean says, still shuffling uncertainly on the spot.

Cas leans in to kiss him, just because now he feels like he can. "I will."

Dean beams back at him, squeezes his hand to lead him from the room. Looks down at the floor, where there's a small stripe of come where he spilled himself, and darts away, cleaning it up with a harder blush to his cheeks.

Cas decides there are all kinds of ways he's going to see that blush on Dean's cheeks again, and that he can't wait for every single one.


End file.
